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Females tend to be a little more out, especially on our campus, than males.
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So that can also be a factor that plays in. Well, I just want to introduce all of you guys again.
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I am Farai Chideya. We're continuing our Sex and Sexuality series with a look at historically black colleges and universities. This is the first part of a couple of different segments. And we are talking with folks about the gay and lesbian experience at HBCUs. And Tim Daniels. Standing-N-Truth is his organization. He attended Jackson State University in the mid-'80s. I want to continue with you, Ronnell, and then bring you in, Tim. One thing that I have noticed that we talked about earlier in the series is how people use language, like MSM, men having sex with men or men who - anyway, it's an alternate word for being gay or having gay sexual behavior that does not use gay, which some people don't like.
What it sounds like you're saying to me Ronnell in a way - and please correct me if I'm wrong - is that there are some people who may consider themselves MSM but who would not consider themselves gay. Is that at all accurate? Possibly, but I don't even know if those people are even thinking about those terms. They're just thinking about how other people accept them if they knew that they even had an attraction to another male.
As far as personally, I don't really get off into the term thing. I just kind of go with the flow. If someone used MSM, I go with that. If they used same-gender-loving, I'll go with that. If they use gay, I'll go with that. But one thing is I don't like when other homosexuals call each other fag or any other derogatory terms in that sense.
But I identify with all of it. I mean, it's very arbitrary to me. Tim, is there anything to - and I'm speaking on one hand about language, but on the other hand about behavior. I have a friend who's a gay black man who says that it's really behavior that dictates what your sexuality is, not identity. Other people might disagree.
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But what he says is if you're having sex with men, you are gay or bisexual and that's it. But there are a lot of people who might disagree with that. How did that play out during your time in school? Well, I think that they were not monolithic. And there's so many shades of who we are as a gay, especially African-American men. There are men who will not identify whatsoever with MSM or any term whatsoever, but they still have sex with men.
And some of them are married, as we know. So the terms really don't really mean anything but - no one wants to be labeled gay, especially if you are a black male who's gay, especially if you are a black male who is very masculine and gay, because this whole image thing also is really, really messed up. But when I was going to school - actually, there were a group of us, all of us who were gay, we just happened to find each other like magnets. There were some that were really more flamboyant than others.
And then when we go out on campus when we actually saw each other, the real flamboyant ones, we were, you know, they really didn't care about anybody knowing who they were. We would just say, hey, what's up? How are you doing?
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We'd acknowledge them on campus. But when we got behind closed doors, we clowned and we act - we just let it all hang out, basically. We were free as a bird. Let me just jump in here for a second. It sounds like what you're saying is there's a term - code shifting and shifting - is that you shifted your behavior.
You felt, as many African-Americans do in other contexts, you had to act one way in public and you could act another way in private. And that happens all the time. And I think one, for me, I feel that one thing that I really love about myself as a black, gay man is that I'm really consistent with who I am when I shift in between, like, subcultures.
When I'm with my heterosexual friends, I'm the same. When I'm with my gay friends, I'm the same. When I move throughout the community, I'm actually the same.
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And I was like, wow, I don't really realize how important that is because I'm still making a statement about who I am. JaNiece, let me go back to you. You said something that I didn't completely follow up on, which was that it's easier or more prevalent for women to be out on campus than men.
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Take me inside that a little bit. On our campus when we started our group, we had to go out and basically search out 30 people to charter our group on campus. And I will absolutely tell you I went to clubs, I went on campus and stood in front of the library, anything I could do to find these 30 people who were willing to put to their name on this charter, and we ended up with about 28 females and two males. The fact that they didn't want to put their name to it.
It was okay to come to meetings and it's okay to club and it was okay if it - everything that happened in the dark and everything that happen at night or things that happen - we could talk on campus as long as no one else knew. But if their name was just on this charter, if their name was just on this piece of paper along with their student ID number, it just attached them to the word gay and it attached them to homosexuality.
It attached them to LGBT, and they wanted no parts of it. And from what I've been able to gather from the males that I know - and anyone please correct me if I'm wrong - is that it's difficult because in the African-American community, males are taught to be strong and the heads of households and they have this place society. And if you attach gay to that, it somehow takes away some part of masculinity from it. And it puts this type of stigma around you, just this one word. And with females, it's not that same type of stigma attached.
We're just taught to, you know, be part of a family, not necessarily lead that family. So with females they were a lot more open, a lot more excited about the group, while the males just didn't want any parts of it in writing. They didn't mind coming to the meetings or coming to the parties that we had or coming to any of the functions that we had, but they didn't want anyone to be able to attach them to the group in writing or attach them to the group by word of mouth at all. It does sound like it would happen. Go Back You are now leaving Pornhub. All Professional Homemade. Duration minutes.
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